Reflecting on PSLE, as a parent.
So, PSLE is happening this week. Together
with two other mothers, I was interviewed on the topic of PSLE. My takeaway
from that session, and from listening to the children in their interview
segment, is this.
The PSLE is an important examination,
however, how much importance or stress is associated with it varies widely. The
mothers and the children were asked rather similar questions. How do you feel
about the PSLE? If you could remove the PSLE or not take the PSLE, would you?
Are grades important? Who would be more disappointed if you do not meet the
goal you set? And of course the answers were varied.
My personal take, our roles as parents is
not to remove the stress nor to add unnecessary pressure to the children. Our
role is to support our child through the process. If PSLE, or any examination
is inevitable, as is many challenges in life, we need to teach our children how
to navigate through them. We need to understand our children, their academic
capacity, resilience, character and work with them to help them build capacity
in a meaningful and helpful manner. What does that mean?
As a mum, I need to know the realistic
amount of revision my child can reasonably complete without impeding on her sleep
and recreation time. And yes, sleep and recreation is still important during
exams. Every person, child or adult needs adequate sleep and down time. A
twelve-year-old child should have TEN hours of sleep for the brains to rest, aid
concentration and knowledge acquisition. Recreation or down time is essential
to a child’s mental and emotional well-being. Taking all that into
consideration, I plan with my child a reasonable amount of time for studying. We
spend time talking, and I explain why it is important to be putting in all these
efforts for an examination.
For our family, the value of hard work,
doing your best and integrity to self are important. I work with my child on a
reasonable amount of time to study and determine a reasonable attainable score
and she sets her goal. And I moderate her expectations or mine and we manage it
from there. Now, what if the child does not achieve what he or she had set
forth. Well, there may be disappointment, and it is normal! Disappointment and
sadness are okay. And they should be acknowledged but, it is not the definitive
moment.
My daughter’s goals are way higher than
mine. But, even if her score falls below my “expectation”, she knows that if I
am disappointed, it is with the result, and not with her. That is because I know
how much work went into preparing for the exams and what her capabilities are.
BUT many things could happen during the exams. And in her own words, if that
happens, she will be sad for a few days and then get over it. And that is part
of growing up, learning to deal with disappointment, but never giving up.
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