Monday, May 26, 2014

Talking about the Birds and the Bees

A couple of weeks back, as we were preparing to shower after a swim, my dear daughter suddenly looked at me and asked, “What’s sex?” Errrrr…..
The topic of teaching our children about the birds and the bees had been raised previously between hubby and myself.  I had previously thought about getting some books in preparation for a moment like this but procrastination got the better of me and I never got around to equipping myself with the right materials.  These are some materials which I thought might be useful had I found the time to buy them prior to being asked the question.

1) Where did I come from

2) It's not the Stork

In any case, as parents, my hubby and I did discuss this topic and we were going to be as straight forward as possible.  My husband, at the age of about 8 years old, learnt the facts from his dad who is a doctor.  For him, the information was told in a very factual manner, using the correct biological terms.  As for me, well, let's just say that in a rather conservative Chinese family, we hardly express our love towards each other and it would never ever cross my mind to ask our parents such questions.  So, I learnt what I need to learn from friends, books etc.
Back to my not-so-little girl. We had for the longest time since she was 4 or 5 years old, repeatedly told her that no one is supposed to touch her in the parts of her body that are private to her, namely the crotch area and the chest area.  We told her what inappropriate touching means and if someone did, to let us know.  This laid the ground work for the conversation on sex.

Since I was going to shower with her, I took the opportunity to explain what sex is and the process of how babies are made.  I explained in simple terms that sex is the act when the male penis would go inside the female virginal (which she then asked if it’s were the pee pee comes from.  I guess a more detailed explanation of the biological parts is needed).  Her first reaction is rather typical.  She went, “Ewwww…”.  After which I explained about how the penis would release some sperms and these sperms will swim into the female’s womb.  I also told her about the egg that is inside the females’ body.  One thing I did not mention this time, is the process of menstruation.  She is not a huge fan of bloody images and I did not want to create an information overload all at one go.   

And that was it! 

A few days later though, she asked how the sperms would swim to the egg and we showed her a video on youtube which explained the topic very well.  

It’s a medical presentation so there was a lot of information but I think it gave her a very good idea about what happens during conception.

Personally, I think it is important to equip our children, especially our daughters with the right information.  If we do not provide them with that, they will be getting their sexual education from the outside world and we may not have control over what they will learn from that.  If we are able to be the first to teach them, we lay the ground for imparting our values and belief at the same time as well.  

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