Sunday, March 22, 2009

Newborns are so much work.

Least I forget as time goes by, I shall blog this down. It was a darn tough night yesterday! Now I understand why some women go through postnatal depression or entertain horrible thoughts cos I sure did last night. And if anyone ever say looking after a baby is easy, that's because they failed to remember how hard it was. I am probably one of those. I forgot how it was with Laetitia, but then again, with Laetitia, I had my mum who was here to help. Mum cleaned, cooked all my meals, looked after Laetitia in the day so I can nap as much as possible and took care of me. This time, I decided to do it myself and boy am I in for a shock.

The night commence with the little babe going to sleep at around 9.30pm and me getting into bed at about 10.30pm after a short personal time spent with the hubby. At about 1am, the little one got up and I got him, feed him and changed him. There was some explosive poo and I had to change his clothes as there was an overspill of poo on his clothes etc. The I tried to soothe him back to sleep but the moment I put him down in his bed, he is up again! This went on, and on, and on and on! As the night draws on, I started getting more and more tired plus more and more frustrated. This continued till pass 5am! In between this period, I went from nice, soothing mum who carried and tried to soothe the little babe back into sleepland, to frustrated mum who left her little babe in the car seat in the kitchen to get away from his wailing, to depressed mum who was crying while the babe wailed away, to crazy mum who had dark thoughts of throwing the babe out of the window (obviously did not do that and was shocked at the thought crossing my mind), to helpless mum who tried to just bury herself under the pillows and blanket to block out the sounds of the crying babe etc. I was at my wits end. Finally after another feed at 5am, he felt asleep on the boob and this time, I did not even dare to try putting him down, just left him where he was, on the side of my bed and slept with him that way.

Well, that did not last long, at about 7.30am, he was up AGAIN. So, I fed him, changed him and manged to sleep with him for another 2 hours till 10am before it was over.

Keeping my fingers crossed that it will be better tonight. Oh yes, let me state that I do not do well with lack of sleep. I am one of those people who needs at least 8 proper hours of sleep or else I cannot function properly and I have not been functioning at 100% since the little one was born. I need my sleep! And it is true I do not sleep in much in the day when the babe is sleeping but I need to get things done too. And most afternoons, I try to take the little one out so that he gets some nice fresh air and I get a change of scene too.... so yes, a little self inflicted maybe. Sigh.

2 comments:

Wongbats said...

Hey, I just wanted to say you are not alone in those bad thoughts. I had that same experience with my daughter and I thought I had the worst baby ever. I wish you strength and better nights during the next couple of months again.

Ivana said...

Hey dear, pls try to get a little nap in the day time even if it seems to be a waste of time. Just 1hr in the afternoon will do wonders! I promise = )